On September 29, I began a forever journey. I call it a forever journey because there is no final destination in yoga. It’s a practice that grows, and goes when you truly surrender to all it has to offer to every part of your being.
Intuition told me that yoga was the right way for me to regain joint mobility and strength. And more importantly, to regain confidence in a body that had danced professionally, carried me through 22 years of event planning (more than 100 weddings, 3 presidents, a handful of celebrities, and lots of corporations and associations in Washington, DC) and successful single parenthood. I had just married my soul mate... and then lost total confidence in my physical self. There were days I couldn't hold a sheet of paper firmly in my fingers nor get out of a chair without my husband’s help.
I contracted West Nile Virus, September 12, 2012. It was debilitating and scary and confusing. No one knew it would wreak havoc in my life like it did. I suffered emotionally and physically through many forms of treatment as the aftermath period mimicked rheumatoid arthritis, and then CLL Leukemia. I stopped working. I am on my second career now as a writer and blogger and that’s how I came to “The Challenge.” I am rebuilding.
The environment at MYBO spoke to me, everything about it just felt right. I formed an accountability team comprised of my husband, my daughter, and a couple down the hall that are 2 of the most fit women I know and good friends. I informed them all of my intentions and asked for their support. I also asked them to hold me accountable to my goals–which they all have done.
I carry a little book with me everyday to class, "1,001 Pearls of Yoga Wisdom (Take your Practice Beyond the Mat)", by Liz Lark, and in it I wrote, “On September 29, 2014, I challenged myself to integrate yoga into my life forever by committing to 42 consecutive days of hot or warm classes at MYB Oasis, Crystal City, VA. I shall be complete on November 9, 2014–but it’s only the beginning. Be…." It was day 18 when I wrote that. I was sore every day back then, in a good and healthy way. I felt as if my body was waking up from hibernation and feeling alive again. I knew it would be hard work. I also know that most things worthwhile, involve hard work and total dedication.
Days 1 through 7, I would wake up around 3 a.m. every morning and groan when I tried to turn over. And then I would spend the moments falling restfully back to sleep, thinking of reasons not go to class. There were mornings when I actually cried on my husband's shoulder. “What was I thinking doing something crazy like 42 days of hot yoga?” and he would dust me off and send me out the door with encouraging words. On October 8th, day 10, he just said, “have courage” in his lovely British accent; that was my last morning crying. But I’d still wake up thinking of creative reasons not go every morning for a while longer. The three beautiful, strong women in my accountability circle would cheer me on every Monday (Mondays are still the hardest) with kind messages. And the kind, knowledgeable, talented and dedicated teachers I have at MYBO would encourage, challenge and congratulate me every day. They have all even written in my little yoga book that I carry around. One day Soozie read a meditation from the little book in class. And when she gave me a prayerful and powerful massage, it was pure poetry.
And then one day, I learned to breathe my way correctly into a headstand with Todd… and gott a little over confident. On day 29, I attempted a pose on my own that I was not strong enough to sustain; worse, I got scared halfway into it. I thought I came out of it with a back flip and safe roll, but I didn't. Within hours, I couldn't turn my head to the left and was nauseous and dizzy. Tuesday, day 30, like a trooper, I did my regular class in hopes of feeling better but only felt worse.
At 80 years of age, my father retired from practicing medicine. He is 82 now and still practices yoga at least 4 times a week and he’s done so for at least 20 years. He practices and believes that massage is a necessary accompaniment to a regular practice. He takes a homeopathic and spiritual approach and always has, even before it became fashionable. So I made an appointment for a massage at MYBO. By the time I arrived I was in such discomfort that I knew in my bones it would not be wise to practice on day 31. I knew my body needed a day of rest for my neck. I sat there in the massage room and cried. REVELATION! I was crying because I couldn’t do yoga tomorrow instead of crying because I had challenged myself to go 42 days! This was an amazing turning point for me.
I laid on the table and thought about the name of the studio…Mind Your Body. So I minded mine, and let the Vital do his work. I began to focus on just being proud of myself for my 30 dedicated days. I told myself that I had done a great job and I thanked my body for carrying me though those days. I also admitted to myself that I had gotten a little carried away with my beautiful tripod headstand. I hadn’t listened to the careful direction I got from my primary instructors of the past 28 days, Soozie, Todd, and Neen. I had started getting compliments from my classmates whenever I did that tripod headstand – “taaaa-daaaa!” And I had to admit that looking at myself in the mirror had become slightly competitive. The chorus line dancer in me was coming back! Alas, these are not necessarily good yogi qualities!
And so on day 31, I just slept. When I woke up, I knew I should really get another massage. My body was tired from 30 days of hot yoga, at age 54 and after recovering from West Nile Virus. I booked a second appointment with Vital, and he was amazed at my recovery, spirit and vigor. Later, after the massage, I knew I could make it to class at 10 a.m. for day 32. And also that I could make it to a second class with Soozie.
I was thrilled when I remembered something I was told: “You may need a break, and that’s OK. Take two classes the next day and you can still meet your goal.” Writing this, it’s day 32 and I did the 10 a.m. class this morning with Todd. I feel strong, positive and peaceful. I can’t wait to be in class with Soozie again tonight. I minded my body. It needed a rest and the therapy of touch and healing care. And I am back on track to make my goal of 42 classes in 42 days!
As I write this I know I will be concluding my immersion successfully on day 42 in Todd’s Breath, Bandhas & Meditation Workshop. I’ll follow that with a congratulatory massage with Vital. On Monday I will board a plane to London. I’ve already mapped out how to maintain my practice for the 2 weeks that I will be away.
A wise teacher told me this morning, “You've just learned a great lesson. If you tighten a bow too tight and try to play it, the string will break. If you don’t tighten it enough and it is too loose, it won’t make any sound at all. There is a point that is just right, Be, and you found that.” I am so grateful for that lesson.
Why 42 days you may ask? Well, they say that doing anything for 21 consecutive days makes it a habit. I figured I needed extra reinforcement on my end – so I doubled that number. Simple as that.
It’s just the start of the journey. But I’ll just take one beautiful, enlightening, powerful day at a time.
Namaste,
Be Sweetman
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